Burdens

Cast your burden on the Lord, And He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22 NKJV)

I always must remind myself, I'm not alone and the burden of life I hold is not meant to be carried by me.

I'm not alone and never have been. All the problems I have should be shown and let known and released from my realm.

My faith is put in you my lord. I shall not hurt my back w theses burdens any longer. You know what is best for me. My problems, insecurities, concerns, heart, and spirit are in your safe keeping and I know you shall not forsake me. I shall never forget you for any reason. I know what you did to secure the future of others and I thank you for it. Thank you for blessing me w the knowledge and clarity to know you and you are the one true light which cuts away darkness. Thank you. I shall continuously honor you and live by your teachings. I just hope I am worthy enough for your blessings.

In your name I pray,

Amen.

Organizational Gestures 3.1

AH! I'm definitely blessed. I've just about finished my to do list. Let's check it out.

1. Contact facilities for OT volunteering.
2. Contact potential schools.
3. Figure out the classes I need to retake. I have just 2 (abnormal psychology made a C and human physiology made a B but I'll retake it for kicks)
4. Go to the grocery store.
5. Call eye doctor and order my contacts.




Ok



Okay,

1. Extremely blessed because the Therapeutic Riding Center called me back and I am going to the orientation on Monday, hopefully. I just have to adjust my work schedule accordingly. Yay. I'm extremely happy because
     A: I will be able to understand what the therapeutic riding does
     B: I get to help others 
     C: I'm volunteering. Maybe they'll let me ride a horse.


2. I have gotten in contact with: Barry, Texas Tech, Midwestern, and NOVA.
3. Classes are about the same across the board so there's no big changes.
4. Went to the grocery store and spent like 79 buck. Mostly on household items like: washing detergent, bleach, floor cleaner, fabric softener, TOILET TISSUE, trash bags, raid etc nothing to big though
5. Eye doctor called and contacts ordered


My list is about 86% done. I just need a few more schools and that's it.
I even got my car cleaned and washed, set an appointment for my windshield to be fixed tmrw, got some gas and went to Ross. I don't know why I love Ross so much but I love household items from there. Towel, sheets, pillows, pans.... You name it, I love it!

I am completely blessed to have done so much in such a little time. Thank you Jesus for urging productiveness and discouraging procrastination.

Super happy! yay!

Organizational Gestures 3

Today's to do list includes but is not limited to the following:

1. Contact facilities for OT volunteering.
- I think this would be a great career move for me. I love helping others even though I don't necessarily like people all that much. Go figure.

2. Contact potential schools.
- Thus far my potentials include:
Barry Univ.
UTSAHSC
TTUHSC (maybe, I need a new atmosphere)
Midwestern Univ.
NOVA Southeastern Univ.
- I'd like to apply to at least 6-10 to increase my chances. Last year I applied to 2 and was rejected real late do I figured, I was almost in. With his grace, I can do it!

2b. Grab information on those schools

3. Figure out the classes I need to retake. I have just 2 (abnormal psychology made a C and human physiology made a B but I'll retake it for kicks)

- order books for those classes too!!!

4. Go to the grocery store. Lol I'm on my last 12 squares of tissue and I'm hungry.

... Actually last 7 squares. Smh

5. Call eye doctor and order my contacts.

I think that's it. All realistic goals that can be accomplished with in the next 3-4 hrs or less except for the first. I'm waiting on them to call me back.

Random

So hungry so I had to get something. Dinner!!!!

Hope its good.

Change

I've been working on my setup for about an hr. Hopefully you see a couple of positive changes.

Enjoy

No tags

Have you ever walked into work and think, why do I still work here?

I have and I am thinking that right now.
8 more hours to go...

Ahh!

There's no doubt in my mind that I may have lung cancer. I don't smoke or anything of that nature. I've been around plenty of them.
Seems everyone in this town indulges in smoking like its the only pastime available.

I guess I'll go to the doctor later on this week I.e. tmrw and check it out. My throat has been unusually dry. My eyes have been increasingly dry. My ear was hurting me yesterday and today.

I always have something in my throat. And sometimes I hack up a bit of blood.

Airplane tunes

I'm jamming for right now

And I sat next to a family with a baby from the age of 1-2.5. Those babies talk a lot.

Repenting

I doubt if just handful of people wonder this but I know I have questions.

So... You know how people repent, yes? Yes. Okay and then they go off and do the same thing they were just repenting off of, yes? Yes. It's like a cycle for them. Do your activity then say sorry and continue to do it. It's really crazy because for one, do they mean they're sorry? And two, why do they continue to do the same dang thing over and over and believe I'm sorry is really going to cover that sin. I know on Saturdays after work, I go to church because I can't on Sunday and then my friend (whom I attend church w) go eat and I say, off to do the devils work. Not because I actually intend to do the devils work but we go and party and bull****. I am sorry for what I do those nights but I keep what I do under control for myself and whom ever accompanies me. I don't repent over that but I am sorry but I'll repeat the activity again next Saturday.

I just don't want to call his name and then continuously do the same activity that I want forgiveness from. I think once you read, in the bible, that certain activities mustn't be done, you should stop. I mean, you read that part for a reason. It's telling you to stop. When that came upon me, I slowed down for sure and decreased the intake and increased my awareness.

I am sorry but I won't deceive others with my lies. Nor will I be deceived.



Sorry! Totally didn't put my real question. God is always there for you no matter what but when it comes to this, does he hear you and say 'this guy/chick' or does he show you signs for which your future will be if you proceed this way? Idk really. I just wonder does he take that repenting serious or not? He knows what your going to do before you even think of it. But still... There is always road A (his choice for you) and road B (your elected choice which leads to your own personal down fall). There is no road in between faith and evil.

I choose to walk alongside him but veer off course like anyone and find my way back with his help of course.

That's one of those questions I'd like to ask him. I'm sure you have questions too!

Today...

Was a good day!
Paying homage to a really decent rapper I actually like.

Had lunch w a friend, spoke to two wonderful friends of mine and met up w someone special. Oh ran a few errands... Picked up a car and got my eyes checked finally. Had them dilated and that hurt so bad but I got these cool sunglasses out of it.

It's been real but I promised both my sisters I'd do there hair. I need to pick up my new glasses tmrw. Yay. They are beautiful.

Until tmrw... Stay blessed. Be thankful. Remain faithful no matter what comes your way.

By the way, don't forget to pray. I won't lol.

Faith not fear

@NightlyNoodle: I pray that you all operate by FAITH and not by FEAR ! #Prayer

@NightlyNoodle: FEAR will have you running away from something! FAITH will have you running towards something! Or someone.. #JESUS

(via Nightly Noodle: Twitter)

I get inspired to definitely commit to his word and his teachings. I should anyway but it's always good to get a refresher course from various knowledgeable eyes.
Makes my heart smile to learn, be taught and regurgitate (not the best choice of words) teachings to others.

Something I must work towards...

I forget to pray all the time these days. No idea why. I mean, I do have a conscious conversation with him... When it appears I am talking to myself 86% of the time, I'm usually speaking w him or need his insight on something . (lol best way to workout your issue is to talk about it and to talk about it out verbally)

So I do speak to him but just not in that 'ever head bowed and ever eye closed' type stance.

I need to though, you know. At least take 5 minutes out of my non-busy day and handle that.

Anywho, here's some stuff that I figured I'd share w the world. hope it helps.

Estelle

My jam for the moment while it's playing

My mood

I'm in that, 'I don't wanna talk on the phone, text, or communicate with people in general,' type of mood. Sigh I'm tired.

I'm bored and I'm on vacation. That's the worst.

Oh and I feel like I'm still working too

Chiefs V Indians

There are way too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

He is the only chief I recognize.

There are way too many drivers and not enough passengers.

He is the only driver I let guide me. Although I may grab the wheel ever once in awhile, I typically let go and let him do his almighty thing.

Me personally, I have to learn to stop grabbing the wheel and hitting the brakes. He never complains, he never gasps or anything of that sort and he simple asks, "are you sure that's what you want to do?" I always respond with no but maybe or idk yet. Then he replies with, "okay, when your ready to head onto the right path let me know but until then if you want to explore this path, let's. I'll never leave your side whenever you'd like to stray from the path I've elected for you."

Then he moves aside and simple says, shall we and go off together. I try not to get too deep into the wrong direction but when I'm ready to listen we head back to the car with no hesitation. He has never said, 'well I told you so' or anything that makes me feel ashamed he just says, shall we and we continue on my path to greatness.

He's a pretty fun and fulfilling guy. I like him... A lot. He's nice and has always been there so I can talk to and joke around w. Makes me happy I have such a great friend.

Basically he who does what he wants without authority renders and evil life. But he who seeks counsel from him will be guided in the proper direction.

What's that song, Jesus take the wheel...

On my way to life

People who bring kids on a plane should probably take them to the bathroom ASAP. Their crap stinks to the highest power.

Ugh thought I was going to be sick. Oh and no one should do an extreme number two on the plane.

Frank Ocean

Not really a Frank Ocean super fan. I'm actually barely a fan. Haha. He's alright to me. In my opinion, he's not a singer more so a borderline lyricist. I can't get into his songs that much but all and all he's okay.

Eventhough, the issue of him being a homosexual came up into play. Honestly, I could careless. If that's te way you wanna live, who am I to say Stop! Do you. Be true to you. It's your life, live it.

I downloaded it and listening as I write. It's okay. Bad religion annoyed me a lot but I'm going in w an open mind.

Not going to compare it to nostalgia/ultra or to the mix tape w like 80 sing on it.

Thinking bout you is good.

Truth Serum

Jessup: You want answers?!

Kaffee: I want the truth!

Jessup: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it?

(via... A Few Good Men 1992)

You can't tell someone the truth without them getting mad. Sad... This includes family and friends

It's sad when you can't tell people the truth without them getting upset. I get like that but I know when to say, 'dang I am like that ugh.'

Simple blessings

Bed

Been in the bed all morning. Attempted to have a nice large bowl of Golden Graham's w some lovely Silk vanilla almond soy milk but I guess the milk spoiled and the first bit had to be flushed down the toilet. Actually the whole bowl was.
I've noticed I flush a lot down the drain.

Anywho, I need to get up and eat but I'm not really wanting to. Which reminds me, I have to pay rent today too. Sigh. I'm just so tired though. Completely tired.

I need pancakes. It always puts me in a great mood.

Mountains

I think since last week I was in Amarillo working, my skin wasn't very amused by the climate change. New city, new bumps... It's so sad.

As soon as I get back, got my instant fix... Wexler is beyond wonderful. I used to apply the acne kit but they sadly discontinued it (sigh). So now I am using the anti-aging kit which is surprisingly working.

I use
Dual Action Foaming Cleanser (rub in and massage in)
Exfoliating Glyco Peel (evens your skin tone and lightens and removed dark spots; my favorite product)
MMPi 20 Skin Regenerating Serum (feels like Vaseline but softens skin)
Universal Anti-Aging Moisturizer SPF 30
Acnescription Acne Spot Treatment (I use every once in a while when I have a red spot)

Try it for your self... If you don't like it return it.

http://www.bathandbodyworks.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=4376991&cm_sp=BC-_-Patricia+Wexler+M.D.-_-Patricia+Wexler+M.D.&cp=4090261.4090358

Connections

I don't know if you've ever had a connection w someone that was more that intimate.

- - - Well maybe this is the only way it happens I really don't know.

So I have this connection with this guy. It's weird because I would have never pegged him for a person I'd be connected w but eh it's cool.

Basically, this past Friday I was working in another city and became instantly hot. I don't know how but the air was blowing and it wasn't hot in the store at all. I just began to perspire recklessly. I began to fill lightheaded and my hands started shaking real bad. It was an on going occurrences or about 30 minutes or so. My body was moist and sticky and go figure I had a dress on that day.

Something of this effect had happened before but not this intense. All I kept saying was I wonder what happened or what's going to happen w so-and-so?
Anytime a random occurrence of unexpected physical altercation to my body chemistry happens, it deals w him. Weird!? I know. I usually find out 2 or 3 days later. And I did.

He's gone completely mental. Pushing those who care for him away expecting this is the correct move for him in life which I guess he will find out the truth later but I don't think it's the proper solution but it's his life. He makes his own decisions and I cannot nor will not force his hand on the matter. Eh. Life lesson are a bit maddening and brutally annoying but life has a way or God has a way of putting back in the proper place if you stray off the path too long and too far. Only time will tell. Eek!

Morning notice

Psalms usually gives you that instant graffiti cation when you need it.

Hmmm

231 am.
Definitely can't sleep. I don't understand why though. I have a few things to accomplish before Thursday.

My mind is all over the place w work and this child and packing and it smells like a bowl of soggy frosted flakes. I don't like the smell one bit. There's so much I have to do this week and next.

Oh... I have to fire and train a few people in the next week or by the beginning of the 4th week.

Make sure I can apply for these schools ASAP.