Last day this week

Had a short day at work.

Boss is going to fly me out to Colorado Springs, Colorado next week and I'll train people and enjoy the sights.

Went to the gym and spoke to Carrie. Lol I love her. She's so insightful. We spoke about her gym boo and trainer. Told her I was super mean to him and she said he's been super moody. Spoke to trainer and he was all you've been mean to me for the past month 😔:(
I was so sad. I felt super bad and apologize. He accepted it! Yay me!
We had a needed convo. Can't wait to see him when I get back!

Overall, it's been a good day

Menopause

In all honesty, I'm a nutty individual. I know what I want and then I know what I don't want. I'm all kinds of eff'd up right now. Sigh. Things are... Complicated to say the least.

I'm moving at the end of this month

My apps are due next month eek!

Quitting in about three weeks

Change my address

Leave the gym, truly sad news

Ah! Gotta say 'see ya' to trainer and I'm pushing away from trainer to make it easier to leave (strange right! I know)

Ahh and I have to pack bc I haven't just yet!

I need to meditate and reboot my brain. Center myself. Enjoy BSING the last few weeks I'm here. Oh and my birthdays at the end of this week. Grrr. Everything is happening at once. Oh and Mother Nature has been around for about three weeks now which is probably the cause of all my stress and dysfunctional mood swings. Menopause - where are you when I need you!?

See how disorderly I am! Ah gosh

I'm in psychotic bish mode and I'm hating ever minute of it

I think it's the reason I've had such a long weekend too.

Rihanna, darling WHOO!

I love Rihanna. Sigh but when I saw her in concert in Las Vegas she was lack luster but I hope the next time I see her she'll be more energized!

Anywho, been listening to her as I workout. I like all but Jump on Unapologetic. Here are my favorites this far: check em out!

Enjoy!

Mother Nature

Messes up everything. I want to be bed bound for the next few days and its like day 4 or 5 ugh. Bastard

Day 8!

Workout went pretty well today. Took 30 minutes or so. My back is still sore from Tuesday's nonsense but eh.

I'm tired but ready. This weekend I need to get a lot accomplished w apps and such. Look for an OT to sign off on my hours. Ugh. It's getting down to the wire. Get rid of clothes and stuff. It's going to be a long weekend. Oh and pictures. First is me at 127.4 my heaviest. The second is me at 125.4 I guess. Weighed in yesterday. Took the pic today.

I'm getting leaner haha! Yay!

On my way to the gym...

And my eyes are filled with tears.

It's time. I'm 90% ready hate leave the wonderful people I've met but it's time.

That ^ was at 558pm this evening. I wasn't feeling up to it. Guess who called me out, you guessed it, trainer. It was sad. I put up a huge facade in front of everyone but him and he knew it. Hmm makes me like him even more :)

Anywho, I spoke to my dad who helped me put things into perspective and felt better. Pancakes would have made my night 10X's better trainer had none. I had a mediocre ass Philly from steak express. How do you not grill the bread..? Come on son! Seriously 7.5 outta 10 which is super generous. Charlie's will forever hold the title of best Philly I've ever had!

Oh so at the gym, I reweighed myself and I'm at 125.4. Yay! Lost 2 lbs of fat I hope! Pictures of the before and after tmrw.

Yesterday's workout had my ribs and back sore. Smh.

Until tmrw,

Later!

I hate going to the gym

I honestly do. Today was day 4 and I'm already one this crap. Wednesday I have a personal trainer day and he's sure he can give me muscle. We shall see!

Oh what a dream

So last night I had an assortment of dreams.

The first:

Had to do w a pre judgement day. Others weighed in pass or fail. I passed but if I went down the wrong path my punishment was to be whipped by rose thorns for eternity.

I should've wrote about it when I woke up but didn't. There may have been more to it but it was interesting to say the least. Idk. I wonder if it is an implied meaning or something a bit deeper than what's seen.

The second:

Was random as all hell and there's no point in mentioning its stupidity.

I have to admit

It's time! I'm so ready. The only problem is should I leave Hershel home when I get there or should we wait it out and leave all at once.

Then trainer... Sigh. Definitely have to tell him sometime soon eek!

Workout day 2

Been on my plan for two days. Yay.

Day 1: 127.4 ugh. Not talking about that shit. I'm heavy and getting heavier. Ugh better be muscle and not fat.

Which I believe honestly was the IHOP big steak omelette and 3 pancakes I had 3 hrs before hehe.

I took before pictures. I was super bloated and looked like a pink squash. Eh I did triceps today.

Day 2: I had cream of wheat (yum) and a blueberry strawberry shake w silk almond milk. It tastes like health, yuck. Eating healthy is easy but staying committed to it is hard. I hate super healthy too. Sigh. I'll get over it.

On the upside, my boobs look fuller and my butt looks bigger. :)

My plan is to have a bigger butt and ripped abs, legs and arms and have super amazing skin. I would like to weigh 122-130. Hopefully I can do it.

Pictures later!

Thank you Bella Falconi!

2 wise women

Could it have said it better myself.

Thanks ladies!

From yesterday, just never posted!
Later

Clearly, it's time

I've been getting the messages or signs that its time. Haha. I've been getting consistent email for jobs available, position etc.

Clearly it is time to get outta here. I'll have to finish my Barry app tmrw and attempt to finish NOVAs too. I do need to look at the Springfield one.

Get my letters from people by next week.

Ah! I'm happy about the timing and ready for it all. Now to determine if Hershel will stay at my house for the remainder of February or if I'll keep him until we are both out this piece.

Decisions. Decisions.

Bella Falconi

OMG! Have you seen an amazing body? I have! Check out Bella Falconi she super gorgeous and he body is mind blowing.

I've seen her before but one of my gym friends said she had he workouts online so I may just have to do some. She's definitely my motivation.

I'll have to take a before and after picture for this one. Ah! She looks amazing. Can I have abs, arms and a butt like her?

Home to the bush

I had an incredible time while I was home. Didn't do much but got to relax. I missed baby Hersh but I'll see him in an hr or so. Makes me happy to know I have an amazing family and wonderful friends who I cherish and me up w when I get there.

I got to see my great aunt... Even it was for a few moments but I enjoyed it. Ate African food and American food. Got back to my African roots. Just enjoyed myself.

Saw Django and Silverlining w a friend. Django was super bloody which it's a Quentin Tarantino movie and to be expected. Silverlining was pretty good. I'm sad we did not see the first 10-15 minutes though.

All in all, I had a great time. Glad to have come.

I'll be back in a few weeks. Birthday season suckas!!! So until next time, back to this job and Hershel and we will see about the other.

Thanks Charles

Isn't if funny how we doubt ourselves...? I believe it is very humorous. I tend to doubt myself in certain ways and then I really wish I hadn't in the first place. I've always believed there is good in everyone. And I do still believe this to be true but I also believe that there are certain people around who torture others for their own person games. It's a pity actually. You wasting all that time and energy on someone when you don't physically gain anything in return. I mean, you gain the thought of them acknowledging the misguided behavior and that it's you personally doing it but what do you truly gain from it?

Well asshole, let me indicate or better yet, inform you on what you've lost. You've lost someone who clearly you had some type of feelings for at one point in time or another. You've lost their respect, might I add is difficult to re-obtain fully. You've lost their trust, which again is hard to obtain fully. You've lost them indefinitely.

I've never truly hated anyone in my life but I believe you sir fit the bill. I believe I hate you. In all honesty, I truly feel that way. I don't want anything to do with. I don't care what bullshit you enjoy telling yourself to increase your happiness but diminish mine but you sir are a hypocrite, a bigot, a pessimist, a waste of time, a extortionist, a malicious, a selfish, irritating, immature f***ing bastard. Leave me the hell alone. I could go on for days. You aren't worth much of anything to me. Not time or effort and be given after all this garbage I've been through with you. I don't hate anyone but if I did you'd be number one on my f***ing list you prick.

Get a life! I have one and thank God every chance I get. If I was the revenge type, you'd be sucking cobble stone for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Leave me the f*** alone seriously!

I thought this was pretty interesting

Go to google, type in 'do a barrel roll'
And watch. Lol.

Thought it was AMAZING and I said whoa... So it must've been.

Eccedentesiast

Eccedentesiast
Someone who fakes a smile.
Someone who hides their pain behind smiling.

Interesting word of the day.

Verse(a) of the day

Verse of the day

The idea of love that I need not forget.

Devotional of the day

Was kinda grossed out by the devotional. I cringed a bit. Everyone has there on personal view, these are mine.

Verse to remember

I hate psalms. Idk if its the idea of singing or it says 'musical for...' Idk. But I do hate psalms.

All provided via, picture form.

Hmm, makes sense... Yes?

Very smart they are.

Oh! I miss my baby Hersh. Sigh. We will be reunited soon enough.

End of Year Rap-Up

This past year has been full of WOWs and WHOAs and that IDIOT. It's been filled with laughs and tears. destined moments and mortifying moments but all summed up, it had helped me be the person I am today. i hold no regrets. Everything happens for a reason. Things may seem to happen by chance but ultimately unveiled, there was a reason for it all to occur.

interesting, right? Things happen. Learn from it. if you see it as a mistake, look t it from all angles and be sure you learned from it and pray you may not fall for it again.

So for my New Year's resolution
- I hope to avoid things that won't make me happy.
- Spend wisely
- Earn bountifully
- Breathe deeply
- Live passionately
- Stop procrastinating so close to the due data

Oh and enjoying all that has been given to me, one day at a time.

White collar

My favorite new show from Netflix is white collar. It's pretty nice and apparently Matthew Bomer is gay. I'm sad. He has the nicest walk ever! Ugh dang!

Hmm...

This is a nice ending to a suck*** day! His love for me is unconditional and greatly appreciated.

Idk what's going on

Today isn't my day.
I'm not in the mood to work or workout or do much of anything.

Went to bed late and woke up extremely early like 5. I don't feel too well neither. Perhaps I'm home sick... Idk but something isn't necessarily right.

Oh and I want to throw up.