gone

Absence makes the
heart grow founder…

What a crock of bull.
It’s heartbreaking. The number 1 reason why I believe relationships do not work
is because of A LACK OF
COMMUNICATION. In all relationships that are encountered, communication
is the essential backbone.

To keep from having
future back problems, try and DEVELOP GOOD LISTENING
SKILLS. Most want to out-speak and over-talk others but that’s not going
to help anyone. If one over speaks the next, the only thing established is
anger. One also needs to LET THE COUNTERPART KNOW WHAT
IS IN HIS OR HER MIND. It’s the worst feeling in the world when people
are in the midst of a “debate” and not getting their point across. There’s no NEED TO SECOND GUESS the other person. To avoid
assumptions and misunderstandings, OPEN COMMUNICATION
IS CRITICAL. NO ONE is a mind reader unless special skills have been acquired.
There is NO WAY THAT ONE COULD GET MAD AT THEIR
COUNTERPART FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT THE OTHER IS THINKING. This, in all
sense of normal, is impossible.

Don’t lose some
aspect of you life because you weren’t will to try or let alone work on it. Make
that step to success TODAY. Attempt to make a change. Don’t be the reason it’s
over.

reflection of 2010

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a
Lifetime

When you figure out which it
is, you know exactly what to do

I can’t help but think how much I have grown since the
beginning of this year. Some of this growth is not the best thing but at the
same time it has given me an acceptance for situations that I cannot change.

I’ve met someone who most girls would swoon over. He’s
closest to perfect that I have gotten thus far. It’s funny because he makes me
feel whatever on earth is beyond wonderful. I know it may be cliché to say but
his eyes are so unbelievably inviting. His heart is relatively pure but for the
most part it embodies that of which most people want. The warmth of his being
is beyond my descriptive articulation. EVER girl fantasizes about that one
perfect man who trots along on his noble steed and whisks her off on her
happily ever after. Regrettably, I have yet to realize how good I have it with
him. I push and pull and eventually tangle myself up within the ranks of my
thoughts not to settle for what is given. I need to put forth that effort of the
struggle of “NOT” being deserving of what I’ve been presented with to better
use. I need to clear my head of all that clouds it; whatever is restricting my
everlasting happiness must perish. If only I knew how to fully open myself up
to this and thoroughly appreciated this expression of a feeling I have been working
so long and hard for. He’s in love with life but better yet, in love with me. I
love what he brings to the table. I just hope that he enjoys what I’m bring otherwise
he’ll depart before dessert.

It seems as if I am looking for something or someone to
distract me from what he gives me so I can say I am not good enough. BUT I am
good enough and have yet to realize that. I came to this crack hole, Lubbock,
to find a way through school and get my degree and leave. I ended up finding
someone special in the process. Shameful but hopefully 2011 will bring clarity.

People are in our lives for a reason, season, and a lifetime
AND some have fulfilled that purpose. I don’t feel sad or sorry but
understanding. I have lost people in useless battles but gained prosperity in
the process.

I have learned to take things with a grain of salt. Some
people are trustworthy and others are snakes that are ready to take down the
innocent. I have learned never to trust what a person SAYS because ACTIONS ALWAYS
SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. I had been told that I give some too much credit and
have come to the realization that I definitely do. Sad but true. I have been
taken advantage of and have to get myself back to my stress-free point. And I
am $466 bucks from that.

Life has hit me hard from August to the belly of December
but yet I have attempted to keep my head held high and problems to myself. My
mom always says hardship will surround you before the good surfaces. I may have
paraphrased this a bit but that is the bases of what she said. I love everyone
that has come along and also those who have gone. You’d think I’d change some
of the situations that have occurred but I wouldn’t. I would have never reached
this level of maturity if I hadn’t gone through what I have been through this
year.

Adieu to you my unforgettable 2010.

smh

People are so unreliable these days... Sigh!

Some of the relationships that I build with these folks needs to be severed.

I don't know. I just feel like I need down time ASAP

Double Standards

Treat all as your own self. Do not have a double standard.

~ Sri Sathya Sai Baba

There are numerous double standards for both men and women.
Since I am of the female species so I am automatically going to take the woman’s
side initially but both must be expressed in order to fully understand the
degree of devastation.

<> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <>

	Woman	Man
Scenario #1	If she asks a question, she is seen as nagging	If he asks a question, he is concerned about his lady
Scenario #2	Although I don’t agree with either but if a woman has multiple   partners, she’s a slut, a hoe, and loose	If a man has multiple partners, receives thumbs up from the boys.
Scenario #3	Didn’t hear something or forgot she is considered an idiot/brainless	Didn’t hear something or forgot, he is considered insensitive or a   jerk that doesn’t care about you
Scenario #4	Being an assertive woman is   considered domineering/pushy or for lack of better terms a bitch.	Being an assertive man gives   him reputation as a go-getter or for lack of better terms a boss.

We, as women, have come a long way. Women have gone from not being able to vote to getting
subjective or categorical jobs for women.
You know, stereotypical woman’s work. Double standards are evident in the
workplace. Women have worked relatively hard to own about 14% of corporate American’s
boardroom members. Despite those incredibly successful odds, they still make 76
cents to every dollar a man receives. That 24 cent difference makes it clear
that inequality still exists.

In higher positions, it is very tricky for women to portray
the forceful, direct and assertively effective speaking roles to simulate that good employee. Women who want to obtain
these employment statures have to fight stereotypes to be that good employee. In that quest, they risk
gaining a negative reputation.

Not my favorite subject but it must be talked about. Society
is an irrational bitch or is it boss?

<> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <> <>   <>   <>   <> <>

	BITCH	BOSS
WIKIPEDIA	Literally, means female dog.   In other uses, it may refer to: A slang term for a complaint.   (Insult) a pejorative term for “woman” or “subordinate man”	An employee’s supervisor. It may also refer to someone in a leadership   or executive position in an organization or group.   Nothing boss or boss man
URBAN DICTIONARY	- Word used to describe the act of whining excessively   - An exceedingly whipped guy that does… whatever his girlfriend tell   him to   - Annoying and whining female   - A woman that doesn’t give a flying F anymore and that can and will   be cruel to men   - A woman who would say things that if she were a man, she would be   confronted or assaulted	- Incredibly awesome, great, miraculous   - A person who is a leader, someone who runs shit in his or her hood   or city   - An adjective used in many situations describing something or   someone that is superior   - Boss man

“When
I am assertive, I’m a bitch. When a man is assertive,
he’s a boss. He [is] bossed up. No negative connotation behind ‘bossed up.’ But
lots of negative connotation behind being a bitch. Donald Trump can say, ‘You’re fired.’ Let Martha Stewart run her company the same way and be the same
way. [People will say] ‘f**king old evil bitch!’ But Donald Trump, he gets to

hang out with young bitches and have 50 different wives and just be cool. ‘Oh,
Donald, we love you, Donald Trump!’ ... When you’re a girl, you have to be
everything. You have to be dope at what you do but you have to be super sweet
and you have to be sexy and you have to be this, you have to be that, and you have
to be nice. It’s like, ‘I can’t be all those things at once. I’m a human
being.’”

—Nicki Minaj sounds off on the sexual double standard in
her MTV special, “My Time
Now.” [MTV]

Double standards will be around until the day we step up and
eliminate them. We fought about 300 years to gain that 14% representation.
Hopefully, it’ll only take us a couple more years to gain 36%. We’ve gotten as
far as an African American president, why can’t we give women their much needed
equality as well.

bird's eye view

By prevailing over all obstacles and
distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.
Christopher
Columbus


Going to library is always an adventure. There are four traditional
reasons a library visit is initiated. Here is a list of the top four reasons
that I have compiled.

4.            Meet up with friends.

3.            Use of the readily available
internet.

2.            Traditionally useful resources such
as books, references etc

1.            A quiet place to study

“Finals” is a season in its own right. Shorter than most
others, this time of year is sensed weeks in advance before it unleashes its
unforgiving grip. This is an entertaining period at the least. Finals ALWAYS
bring a swarm of innumerable amounts of students from all over campus that have
never been seen before. Let alone didn’t know they still attended school.

Some, like me, visit the library year round while others don’t.
The library crowd can be classified as one of two groups.

1.      Drivers.

The grades for these aspiring pupils have their grades by
the virtual balls, for the most part. They may need to increase a grade slightly
to get SELF APPROVAL but they are at the top percentile pool. They know what
they want to achieve and where they would like to see themselves in the future.
The valiant rules of tomorrow in other words.

2.      Passengers.

The procrastinators are rulers of this group. They are the
students who are not doing as hot as the drivers but could be working to become
a driver. Grades are pretty critical at this point and determine whether or not
they make that C or D or even fail.

For a large portion, 86% of the time I consider myself a
driver but then there is that 14% (organic chemistry) that pulls me to backseat
passenger’s status. But enough of the tangent ---

Once the sun goes down, the library is INVADED by
passengers. QUICK QUESTION. Have you ever seen a large flock of bird congregating
around the mall towards Christmas times in the evening? YES? Well, you understand
what I’m referring to then. It’s like a large flock of birds. I just don’t
understand. Mind you, not all are passengers; some are drivers that didn’t have
time to beat the evening rush.  It’s
quite a sight if you are sitting in on a transitional period.

Mourning doves are commonly seen at this time. They all have
about the same build and shape. Everyone looks at the dove and would like to
have some part of that life but there is no uniqueness in their existence.

You’d be lucky to see 3 Black-chinned hummingbirds in a 2
hour period. It just seems like they are running out of time for something. They’re
so hasty and in such a hurry; you wonder what they’ve almost missed.

Golden-fronted Woodpeckers typical bring a ruckus when they
enter. I don’t know if they are trying to command attention to let the others
know they have entered or what. I know when they come in I always look up and
have to gather my focus back.

The Blue Jay and American Robin are rare in the evenings but
when they come in you know who they are. These are the people that the
Woodpeckers ask to meet in the evening to “HELP” them study. Hopefully the guidance
from the Jay’s and Robin’s will help them get their act together.

Northern Cardinals are rarely seen in the open. No one likes
to ask them anything because they make everyone else feel stupid or intimidated.
Just an observation but they typically lack common sense. This is why they
over-compensate in the area of knowledge. Too bad they don’t know how to tone
it down or they’d be the perfect professors.

Northern Mockingbirds are the ones that attempt to study
with the Blue Jays, Robins, and Cardinals but can’t hang so they cheat during
the finals. How they get better grades than everyone else troubles some but
they are good at their craft.

The worst of worse are the Red-Herrings. They come in and
make so much noise and distract everyone from doing anything. They have the
most power over everyone’s studying. It’s beyond annoying. When they come in I
know soon all attention will be on them. Nothing can be accomplished then.

i can't

“You
can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the
future”

I CAN’T is definitely a part
of my vocabulary but only to syke myself out.

For example. I really CAN’T
study. It won’t work. I’ve tried and tried but I CAN’T
focus. Blah blah blah.

My customary resolution is to relax and get each and every disturbances
out of the way and TRY TRY AGAIN. It usually works so I don’t really nitpick but
when it comes to additional things it’s now beginning to overwhelm my language
with its negative vibes. It’s like ATTACK of the word on my petite world and I just
DON’T CARE.

I CAN’T be around hypocrites.

I CAN’T listen to you
anymore.

I CAN’T keep getting walked
on.

I CAN’T keep compromising myself
for you.

I CAN’T talk to you.

I CAN’T walk with you.

I CAN’T beat around the bush.

I CAN’T read you.

I CAN’T & I DON’T WANT
TO! The list could go on and on but I CAN’T seem
to find the words.

Maybe this just ANOTHER situation where I should relax,
remove all distractions, and try again.

B&W

Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own
nature into his pictures.
Henry Ward
Beecher

I don’t know if I’ve established this before but I love pictures
and portraits. Photographs bring tales to the eyes the mouth cannot elaborate
on.  Words do not give the imagery justice.
Envision, glancing into an abstract piece of artwork. On the first momentary gaze,
randomized strokes with vivid color are the elemental factor. But with fine art,
you must look beyond factor. You must look into the essence of each artiste and
see what they saw each stoke as. If there is a story behind it, find the story.
Finding out what is unarticulated is what brings exquisiteness and existence to
the images.

Black & Whites are some of my favorites. Color is
vibrant but black and whites give you that feel of a mystery. All-in-all, color
does not signify beauty, the eye does.

Some may make you smile, laugh, cry or rather not. As long
as it evokes an aesthetic response and makes you think beyond the “normal”
person’s thought part 1 has been accomplished.

Part 2…

Well, that’s another story.

WHAT’S
REMARKABLE ABOUT PICTURES… YOU GIVE YOUR OWN MEANING TO THEM