After being with someone else, you'd think you'd be over someone and you find out your still not. I've come to the assumption that I'm not over him and I won't be for sometime. Out of sight and out of mind is only a temporary thing until they waltz back into the your life again. He is my weakness. My Achilles heel. My kryptonite. I wish it wasn't like this but it is.
I want to cry! I cannot be friends with him when my heart states one thing but my mind houses rationale but is starting to agree with my heart. We go down this path every few months and it is getting harder and harder to resist the possibility that this may render.
Im happy for him. You know... He's growing up finally and planning to get his PhD in something he loves. It's amazing how he's made a turn around. I just hope he has a girlfriend and is prepping to get married. This would allow me the opportunity to move the hell on.
I want him to be happy... Strike that, I need him to be happy but my happiness is primal. Lord help me!
Haha I wish he and I were on irreconcilable and incompatible terms. I don't want to talk to him over the phone or see him in person bc I will say yes to anything at that point.
I still care for him quite a bit. It pains me to carry on like this. I need to put my desires on hold until I finish my classes or until I get a "I'm with someone" statement.
