Counting down

Counting the days down until I'm airborne. I cannot wait. Being here is annoying. 2 1/2 days left!

Thank Jesus

Writers' block

I had an itch in my mind and my fingers. I have the middle but no beginning or ending.

I haven't had an itch in awhile. I hope it comes back. I need some inspiration.

Christmas Day

So this Christmas Day has been a bit different. I'm stuck at the moment but w my lovely jerk/sweetheart puppy.

First and foremost, received a wonderful conversational call from my family which I desperately needed.

Received some nice texts from some of my favorite people.

A surprise call from someone.

One encrypted text message.

And one interesting character w and bottle full of whiskey, popcorn, M&Ms, and home alone playing in the background.

Today's been real guys. Haha. Oh and watching white collar, which is fantastic. Haha he has a smooth walk and a fantastic face.

Dust storm

There are 5 other places I'd rather be than at home right now but this dust storm and wind won't allow me. Grrrr.

My house smells like dirt. Ugh

Stop blowing up my phone kid

So blog world, I have a question for you!

How do you tell a crazy person to stop texting you and calling you. We aren't that close and I'm not trying to be.

Dude is completely crossing the friendship line. Like don't call me and text me ever few days. By few I mean 3-5 days, no more than that. I will be forced to tell you about yourself.

If rather text and talk to lumberjack Gary lol.

Me, I'm feeling two kinds of ways...

Maybe even three...

1 & 2 are the pictures below and three is:

Whelp, that was fun while it lasted... Refer to number one's last phrase!

Lessons in love, Neon Trees

Love this song!

Secrets

I've heard from my mom, the dreams that you want to occur, you don't tell. :(

I had the best dream this morning. Which involved me and you talking. Silly right!? No it was amazing. We were in Seattle (which you know I'd want to live for like the most 3 years) in a hotel with super thick pillows and comfy sheets. You asked me a question while I was partially sleep and I answered it yes. You asked for detail and i gave you that. You recorded my answer even though I was still partially sleep.

You played that back 3 months later at some important occasion. Sigh. I believe it maybe the truth.

So God willing, this may possibly come true. Right now, I want to gut you like a fish but I'm sure things will smooth out soon enough.

So,this working out thing... Eek.

Working out after like 2-3 weeks of not working out what so ever. My legs and arms are like butter. I hate it but I love the feeling of the whole ordeal.

Tonight

I met this baby named Cameron Phillip.

Let me tell you first and foremost,
I hate kids.
I hate animals. (As I say this, Hershel just passed some serious gas YUCK!!)
I hate people.

Hold this child confirmed the thought of me having a child at this moment would be bad for both me and the kid.

Everytime he cried, I wanted to throw up. His dad would slurp up his drool and spit up which again, made me want to gag. Ugh. He was cute when he was quiet but when he started talking, Lord!

They are A LOT OF DEDICATION, TIME, and CONSTANT WORK. Geez Louis.

Instantly annoyed

I have my final in the next 30 minutes. How in the hell did you forget your store key and you've only worked Wednesday closing? How does that make sense...?

Ugh lord I hope I pass this test relatively well.

Baby's first dot in car wash

Lol he was so interested in what was going on. Haha

That last picture lol. My hand always looks like that. Ugh

#1 rule

Don't be liar.

26 or 29? boys and girls, that's the question of the day...

The answer, had better be 26

Amsterdam - imagine dragons

Love this long!

Your time will come... If you wait for it. :)

Verse of the fat

Then Jesus said to them, “A little while longer the light is with you. Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going. (John 12:35 NKJV)

So true

Best quote yet

Verse(s) of the day

Verse of the day

Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full. (John 16:24 NKJV)

Devotional of the day

But he who does wrong will be repaid for what he has done, and there is no partiality. (Colossians 3:25 NKJV)

Verse to memorize of the day

The Lord rewarded me according to my righteousness; According to the cleanness of my hands He has recompensed me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord , And have not wickedly departed from my God. For all His judgments were before me, And I did not put away His statutes from me. I was also blameless before Him, And I kept myself from my iniquity. Therefore the Lord has recompensed me according to my righteousness, According to the cleanness of my hands in His sight. With the merciful You will show Yourself merciful; With a blameless man You will show Yourself blameless; With the pure You will show Yourself pure; And with the devious You will show Yourself shrewd. For You will save the humble people, But will bring down haughty looks. (Psalms 18:20-27 NKJV)

This morning

I just happen to log onto Facebook this morning to do a bit of research and ran into something that was somewhat sentimental awhile back. It caught me off guard so it made my stomach hurt.

In no way shape or form, did I ever expect this. Good grief. Leave me be is all I ask. Leave me alone or grow the hell up and be ambitious. Don't be a bum. Have goals and strive for something other than making excuses and having others waste energy on you with the same crap everyday.

I won't be an enabler. I just won't. You've done enough. Enough. No more will I be dragged into your never ending mound of bullshit.

It's embarrassing and I want no part of it.

Time

Time is not on my side one bit. I have about 2 months or so to get everything together and sent out. Sigh. What have I been doing with all my time.

No fun for sure. All serious nonsense

I've given myself a timeline now. I have 2 months to get it altogether. After my class is over I can solely focus on the career I need and want.

So scandal!

Is the best show ever!

Watch! You'll love it.

Having issues today

I hate having long pauses or long durations where nothing is being said. It's so annoying AND me being a girl I start wondering and thinking and putting random occurrences together. Grrr. I hate that part about being a girl. Either your mad or your...

Well just got a response. Ugh. All is well. Should've taken a screen shot but didn't.

See what was happening. Paranoia to its finest. Anywho, lol, I'll continue...

I hate attention. I like to blend in to the weaving of life in my own way. I like attention, only when I need it but not any other time than that.

So two guys from the gym, C & B, were both hitting on me. I don't do anything to get noticed. I just workout, chat a bit, and leave. Sigh. I'm average. Not anything more.

It never fails

When I come and get kinky twist, they are never on time ever! This time I even came late and they are still late. Useless Africans. Time is never a factor for them.
Having that be a main issue w your own ethnicity and them still doing it is an embarrassment for sure.

It's already started

This is about to be a long day. I got a "citation" this morning for doing 53 in a 40. I was like seriously just give me my ticket so I can go.

My house

Is filled with them lol at all times minus Keizer in the middle. Macy is at the top and my baby Hersh is at the bottom.

Presenting dinner!

Tuna spaghetti. Lol
I really wanted tuna and I had spaghetti so... That's what I made.

First one making it. It was yummy!

Verse(s) of the day

Verse of the day:

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. (James 4:7 NKJV)

Devotional of the day:

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. (John 10:10 NKJV)

Verse to memorize:

But You, O Lord , are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. Selah I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people Who have set themselves against me all around. (Psalms 3:3-6 NKJV)

I read this...

And laughed at the bolded headline.

Soooo

I'm not huge on candy nor chocolate but this... Is the best I've tried. I'm extremely happy I tried it out.

So my day, I spent most of the evening trying to get inspired to study with the help of trainer :) I had a nice assortment of conversations with him too.

- slept, studied for a bit then took my test. I hope i did well.
I got my car back yesterday but the grille was shifted so I took it back up there so they could adjust it.

Got my oil changed, car washed, gas, bought Hershel food and toys. Worked out but did terrible. It's been a minute since I've worked out. Geeez I sucked today. No working what so ever. Yay.

My week...

This is so stupid. So I've worked over 60 hours this week. It's garbage. I hate working retail let alone working multiple extra hours.

So I got written up Thursday when my DM came through. Apparently there was major miscommunication between the DM and I and she felt I didn't respect her... Okay. Get over yourself. It's pretty ridiculous when I call or email you and you don't respond to me but let's not forget if I get in trouble it's on me. You don't respond to emails and such and you'd like me to respect you. Cool. Whatever is pretty much what I said and then I guess I have to listen to you for now. (Rolls eyes and prefers to listen to crickets at that moment)

I'm just counting down the weeks until I'm out this bastard! I've been planning my exit actually. Push over 4 or 5 fixtures, tell them all suck it, and moonwalk out the door. Perfect planned exit.

I can't wait!

Suck my cockiness... :) sorry that's the song playing right now.

Ho hey - The Lumineers

Love this song. Super sweet. I need something like this to make me feel better about the garbage week I've had.
Enjoy

This is the truth

So true. My life has definitely changed for the better bc if this.

Something amazing is in the works for me, I can feel it. I'm so excited. :)

Didn't cha know - Erykah Badu

This will be my song forever. It always puts me in the best mood. :) enjoy!

Omg... Smh

So I got to work around 802 or so and I can't find my keys. I looked this morning before I left, couldn't find them. I thought I left them in my car... Nope.

So I call the ASM to see if she can come let me in. Sad but true. So as of now, I'm sitting in front of my store looking simple as hell.

Oh wait, it gets better...
I'm starving, I have an interview at 9 and 10 this morning, and I have store crap to do this morning. Ugh. From this point the day can only get better.

Verse of the day

I love when Jesus speaks in the bible. I can almost hear the possible sarcasm he may have. His words are so powerful but worth being heard. i just giggle when it sounds like he is telling people what he's said many times before. Lol there's always a, "tell them or whoa, you got em'" type moment.

Idk about anyone else's perception of him but he is some kinda of amazing to me. I think he's pretty chill with flip flops, board shorts, the infamous travel shirt (Hawaiian flowered shirt lol), some great ray bands and long or short hair. He takes things seriously but he will never yell or call you harsh names that will hurt. He's down for the cause but will never force you to believe. He knows the answer but will never force his way up on you. Beautiful soul with grace and gratitude in his eyes... I can't wait to meet him face to face. It would be a complete dream come true for sure.

Enjoy the verse. Have a spectacular day and above all, praise his name.


Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own resources, for he is a liar and the father of it. But because I tell the truth, you do not believe Me. Which of you convicts Me of sin? And if I tell the truth, why do you not believe Me? He who is of God hears God’s words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God.” (John 8:42-47 NKJV)

Re: today's to do list

I accomplished everything except for the applications (which I figured). I may just do that now so I can complete that part.

My day started off stupid bc of volunteering and class. I was so tired after both. I went to workout, played w Hershey, and just grabbed some Starbucks.

My days been amazingly good. I'm happy I can spend the evenings w Hershel.

Well, until next time, stay safe, blessed and appreciative. Be thankful for another evening your been given.

Good night!

Poor Hershel

So I ran out this morning without tell him by! And my roommate sends me this.

And I'm on my way back home now... I'm sad.

Today's to do list

I have been slacking for the past month. Honestly, I'm pretty hopeless. Haha. So here is my determination to fall from that pattern.

1. Volunteer
2. Class
3. Volunteer
4. Study a bit/play w Hershey
5. ***************WORK ON APPLICATIONS TO OT SCHOOL IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST!!!*****************
6. Give 63-78% in working out (I usually give 25-38% lol. Athletically, I've got it down. Things just aren't tough enough for me to get tired or become sore from. I'm usually kinda bored. I'll push myself today though.
7. Plant the seed. If I'm going to flourish, I've got to be sure the yard the seed is planted in will not reject its development. (Metaphor, gasp, no idea...)
8. Work on more apps/play w Hershey
9. Possibly go out and enjoy a friends birthday intoxication fest. Idk yet. I might get sleepy by then. :)

So those are my plans for today. I hope I get them all accomplished but I get distracted easily. :D

My plans can only happen if I get up, which I will---

Right---

Now---

Enjoy your day. Stay motivated and appreciative for the day you've been blessed with.

Lol okay I'm up SERIOUSLY!

Later!

Ah! I'm awake...

This who I wake up to every morning. He's getting so big. His head is getting big. Lol. I enjoy his presence even-though he likes to naw on my fingers. He's always on the attack w his mouth always open. Ugh I love him!

So sad but eh...

So no play date for Hershel. I was sad for a bit but we can always reschedule.

So I really like working out for some reason. I keep hearing that I have this hard face when I'm working out lol. It's mainly bc I'm focused but I can talk in between but not during. My back is sore from yesterday, which is great, and I'm praying I'll be sore tomorrow too.

I spent most of the day with Hershel so he got Stacy on OVERLOAD today. I had a pop quiz which I magically looked over the items earlier this morning (Bam!)

Even-though Hershel didn't meet a new friend, today was an amazing day.

Well I have to take Hershel to his kennel and get to bed.

Have an amazing day tmrw.

Verse of the day

giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, (Ephesians 5:20 NKJV)

Thank you for the opportunities and gifts you have given me. Thank you for the challenges you lay ahead. Thank you for the wonderful people you have surrounded me with. Thank you for allowing me to learn from my mistakes. Saying thank you is never enough, I pray that in time my gratitude is actually displayed.

Thank you Lord Jesus.

Anticipation

Tmrw's a big day for myself and Hershel. I'm beyond thrilled.

This past weekend I went home to visit friends and family. Hershel and my friend's dog named Butter would not get along. It took them three days to get it together.

My family loved him and so did my friends.

Oh and by the way, my dad and I aren't beefing any longer. Yay!

Last night.

That drive wasn't as bad as it usually is. I was tired the first 45 minutes but stopped for a snickers blizzard and small fry and I was okay for the remainder.
Hershel? He was good. When I stopped to let him pee, he basically peed for forever. Longest pee ever. He would whine a little bit when we first started. He is usually in the front seat but I had to put him in his kennel. He's too much to handle at times.
Oh and yeah that number 254 popped up on a sign and on my dashboard. I never not see it (hopefully that sentence is understood). I can't get away from it.
Ah! So Hershel and Butter won't be playing together. Butter keeps try to maul Hershel to death. I'll punch butter in the butt if he tries that nonsense again. No he's just chilling w Gilbert whom he loves.
Oh yeah and this was the only song I repeated.

Sorry, that was a serious rap up. P

First trip

Going home w Hershel for the weekend. His first full length trip. I'm tired and only drove for like 45 minutes while he sleeps. I'll update one I stop again or get to my destination in like 4 hrs! Haha

Verse of the day

What is success to you?

I think it has to do with being all you can be in life. Being a well rounded person who fulfills his/her destiny without loosing his/herself in the process. (Not the best collect of words but its the gist of my idea of success)

This is how my devoutional defines it as:

Success is the process of fulfilling your purpose in life and doing it well. In short, success is a by-product of a life well lived.
I propose to you that the most successful person who ever lived is Jesus Christ. He knew what His purpose was: to reveal God to us in a person and to offer himself as our Savior by dying for our sins. He fulfilled it perfectly. Jesus Christ was the most successful man who ever walked this earth. Why don't you look to Him in faith? He'll put you on the road to success--God's way.

Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. (Joshua 1:7 NKJV)

Yellow pages

So... I think I've used the yellow pages before but today... Was the worst attempt.

So apparently, car rentals is not under vehicles or car or rentals. And not under transportation. Eventually I looked under car rentals which sent me to auto car rentals which was the smallest section ever.

Haha I need to know how to use those. Gave Hershel his first bath which was an experience.
He's so big now!

I think I'm allergic to him bc my allergies and face, eyes, and head all hurt. This happens the first night I got him and now it's happening again. Sigh.

Verse(s) of the day

So... All these verses that I read today just hit. I read one and said that's true. Read the second, that's true too. And the third, clearly The Lord is on a role and my mind is super open to accept all that needs to be taught. He you go, a three-fer. (That's definitely not how you spell that, :) sorry guys)

1. Verse of the day!

I have shown you in every way, by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remember the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” (Acts 20:35 NKJV)

I definitely try to give double what I receive, not in money but in other ways. Money, in my opinion is thoughtless...

2. Verse to remember!

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 NKJV)

Shows us how petty and how one minded we think sometimes. Take people as they are and AVOID judging at all cost. People work so hard on the outward appearance, it's the inners that actually count folks.

3. Devotional

Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (1 Corinthians 7:5 NKJV)

This one was about sexual freedom but eh you could use it in multiple ways. I actually can't think of another at the moment but you get the jist of it.

Superstar - usher

An old favorite

Diamonds - Rihanna

It took me a few weeks but think I like it finally.

So today...

Was alright. Woke up, took Hershel to the bathroom, went to work, left, thought about going to the gym (obviously, I didn't), and came home, played with Hershel and ate.

Simple enough... Exactly. So Hershel was in the kitchen sniffing around and wobbled his butt to the carpet to pee. Ugh this dog! Crazy thing is, he knew I was mad at him for that bs. We made up. He's sleeping in my bathroom now (thank goodness).

I love him but he drives me WILD.

Being followed

You ever get the feeling, your being haunted by something? Well I believe I'm being haunted or either followed by the number '254.'

Strange... Yes but I always seem to look at the clock at that exact time or I'm on Instagram and someone has 254 pictures or 254 likes... It's beginning to be a bit overwhelming.

I know what it's has to do with but idk. Not really feeling the root of the number right now

I'm annoyed -_-

Very tired

After hours of playing with Macy, Hershel is extremely tired. Thank goodness! I get to sleep early, yay!

Calvin Harris feat. Florence Welch

Feeling this song. Check it out if you get the chance today.

WWJD?

In the wee hours of the morning, I am wide awake wondering why I've yet to sleep.

Alas, love gone lost is my issue. Should I A. Continuously hit time after time, the redo button? Or B. get rid of this old deck and trade it out for a brand new crisp one?

Redo... Restart...

So which is it? Idk. The decision had been made, whether I will try my own path is my decision.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6 NKJV)

And to think, I put baby Hershey to bed early so I could catch up on last nights extreme lack of sleep bc of studying... :/

So until next time, stay focused, blessed and above all humble.

Night all!

Last few words

What an end to a splendid day. Jesus humor and a beautiful pup sleeping! What more can I ask for!!

Night all! Give thanks and stay humble. Definitely trying to remember that!

Night.

In or Out

The truth speaks!

True love

I've always wonder what it was. I've been close to it but never just clicked. I can finally say, without a doubt, I'm in love.

He's got a charm about him. Predictable but still unpredictable. Every one that has met him sees it. There's always a lost for words when I'm around him.
We did have a bit of a roughy night yesterday but today's been special. I left work early bc I wasn't feeling well and upon my arrival home, he hit me w hugs and kisses.
He looked at me earlier with his majestic grayish eyes and all I see is honesty, trust and a longing to be with me. Absolutely riveting, right? All that in just one glance.

I'd been feeling empty a while back but since he's come into my life, I feel whole again. I hope this feeling never goes away.

It's amazing how lying in my arms makes you feel the same way as I.

Though I haven't said it where you can hear, I love you. Your all and everything I could have been blessed with. Your peace and harmony bring me endless joy.

Resist!

Don't drink the Kool aid!
Don't eat the crackers

Fork in the road

So I think I know what's going on... It came to me while I was working out. I'm being tested by the one and only G-O-D. I don't know why I hadn't noticed before.

Whenever I have options, counterparts, I'm being tested. After feeling the way I've been feeling, I now see its a bit of a pattern.

Because of free will, I've been allotted in taking any path my being chooses. So the question is, will I continue down the path that has been mapped and etched out so perfectly or shall I sketch my own path. Idk. It's a tough call.

In my destined path, I'm not a major priority. I'm actually not even thought of or worse not even regarded as a 'potential' priority. I know in time all shall change but asking for a text or call once or twice a week isn't that hard. Communication is snipped yet AGAIN. And this is starting to become embarrassing.

My path, seems promising. Unfortunately all that glitters surely isn't gold. I'd be taking a huge risk and time isn't on my side w this one. Idk. I think that's the path the devil would like me to change courses to. God will not leave me no matter the path I choose but advices me to still w destiny. Sigh. Tough call.

Touch call...

Self realization

I am a worrier. Unfortunately, that's the way I am programmed to be. First and foremost, I should put myself before everyone else bc unfortunately this world is built around selfish human beings. Yet another down fall.
H
Ahh I'd really like to scream cry my heart out but Crying is not my kind of game.

It makes me so mad when I feel a relationship I'm in is one sided. It's beyond frustrating bc I try to be so much and do so much for everyone else that I loose myself along the way.

I'm really tired of putting myself out there and getting walked on. So I will put myself first and worry about others after I've gotten myself settled and outta the way.

People...

So I pull out my tablet to watch this new series (which I love) the killing: who killed rose Logan. Awesome this far. I try to pull up Netflix and the series but look what I see IT STILL DOESN'T WORK. Grrr.

In the bottom right hand corner pulls up a message sent on Facebook. So I log on and check it. Look what it said.

I hate when people don't answer direct question. She's a waste of key strokes. I tried my hardest to not say the first think to mind and luckily I didn't. I just broke it down in a less than brash way.

What does asking my dad have to do w you answering my question about you and YOUR family!?

What a waste. Pure waste of my time

Smh

By the way, this all started with her friend request. Completely forgot about her until then... Smh.

Let me start off...

By saying sorry. I've been busy trying to plan out my next course for life.

- Which occupational therapy schools to apply for
- avoiding applying for schools (I'm quite lazy these days)
- taking that abnormal psychology class for the second time.
- volunteering at 2 different facilities that involve kids (surprise surprise, I know. I hate kids)
- getting my car fixed Grrr
- sleep deprived bc of all that and
- working 45-75 hrs a week but getting paid for 45.
- trying to make sure everyone else is emotionally stable while I'm slowly deteriorating. :/

I shall be back to this.

Vacation time

I'm officially on vacation and at this moment I'm in Denver. It's super dry but it looks like a grade ole place. Cant wait to explore the airport.

Verse of the day

What's your purpose? I think I know mine but I always get off track. I need to get back on track...